07/19
WEDNESDAY

0/100 268.08 EBT FS BAL

I get up at 6:17 AM and drink water, then feed my cat. He drinks some of yesterday's water then I give him fresh water.

Then I read Robert Shuller's Self-Love, pp. 6 and 9 and went back to bed.

1:39 PM Pastor Pete picked me up around 12:48 or 12:49 PM and took me to KC's, where I got a Coke and a wrap.

Then Pastor Pete sprayed a hornet's nest and knocked it down at an older woman's house.

Then I came to Pastor Pete's with my laundry. On the way here, we discussed the Urim and Thummim, then AI.

At Pete's I'm watching The Clone Wars Season 7X9 Old Friends Not Forgotten.

Now I'm about to watch S7X10 The Phantom Apprentice.

2:23 Now S7X11: Shattered is on.

2:48 Victory and Death: 7X12.

3:11:56 Victory and Death is over. My first load of clothes is dry.

3:55 PM I streamed and participated in the 5-word challenge on theforce.net discussion Forums, and also folded my first load of clean clothes and changed my shirt to a lighter colored one in the bathroom.

Pastor Pete watched part of The Phantom Apprentice and all of Shattered and Victory and Death with me (the most important parts of Shattered; all of Victory and Death).

What I said on theforce.net on Blue Moon Cloud City Cantina:

I just watched Clone Wars S9X12 Old Friends Not Forgotten-Victory And Death on Disney +. My Pastor friend watched part of The Phantom Apprentice, and all of Shattered and Victory and Death with me. I want to watch the whole Rebels Series with him in preparation for Ahsoka next month. I have never seen the entire Rebels series yet.

I need to fold the second load of my laundry. It's small.
P.S. I'm having grilled Pork Chops for supper!

(4:26 PM) Last edited: 17 minutes ago.

5:14 PM I'm still streaming.

5:20:38 Pack your things. We're leaving.

5:55 PM CDT I came home, cleaned out the catbox and took my pills and drank water. I get my mail. I write Return To Sender on it because I am not its recipient.

I'm going to Church at the Bates City RLDS Church tonight. I have my journal and my phone. I have 14 minutes to update my computer journal.

I listened to Jeffrey Archer's Prison Diary on the way up here.

I updated my Diary up to the word '12:49 PM'.

I'm sitting to the Left of the lectern while everyone else is sitting to the Right of it. I will be at the preacher's right hand.

Star Wars is a Cosmic Morality Play, the Classical battle between the forces of Good and Evil in a time and a place far away. It concerns three men, descendants of each other, one Anakin, one Luke and one Ben. Anakin was once good, pure-hearted and loving, but grew to be corrupt, consumed by hate and became Darth Vader. His son was trained as a Jedi and redeemed his father, and Anakin overthrew his evil mentor, Palpatine. Anakin's grandson, Ben saw flaws in both the Jedi and their opposite the Sith and took over Palpatine's empire. Luke, and then Leia, his sister led a Rebellion, then a resistance to overthrow the empire, later called the First Order. Ben, consumed by hatred for his uncle Luke, was later redeemed by the love of his father, Han and the love of one, Rey, a grandaughter of Palpatine, who chose to cast off the name of Palpatine and take on the name of anakin and Luke-Skywalker, who together brought balance to the Force.

I'm sitting here listening to the congregation sing. O Father, help them to know the Truth that is Thy Word! Amen.

O Lord, help me to retain in remembrance alway that Thou hast redeemed my soul from an awful hell! O Blessed Jesus! Amen!

7:34 PM A confirmation of Robert Schuller's "positive thinking" was in Dee Ludy's prayer just now.
"Well, if you want me to" is the negative version of "Yeah, sure, I'll do that."-Dee Ludy, paraphrased.

Fill my heart with His Word and pray to God about about what to do (to replace my addiction and how to proceed)-Diane - How to overcome my addiction.

Emily B. told me my Book of Mormon journal is a replacement for my bad habit.

I testified about my third baptism and confirmation at Church.


We have TWO YEARS to prepare-2023-2024-Inspired Message at Kirtland, Richard Neill. Seven months of the first year have already passed.

11:28 PM

I come home from hanging out with Rick and Cindy at Wendy's and from KC's.

I come home to a Message from RuleBreaker, a Member of Mara/Luke4ever saying they are doing alright, hasn't been keeping up with. Star Wars lately, and are planning on binging the last season of Mando soon.

My cat wants attention. I pet him.

Mark Strychacz told me today that if you focus on your own sinfulness, you will set yourself up for failure, but if you focus on how much Jesus loves us and on loving yourself he added when I asked and positive thinking (as opposed to negative self-talk as Joyce Meyer would say), you can have more victory-Mark Strychacz Paraphrased with my own words added.


Some of the Diary's pages in the book are out of order.

O Father of Heaven and Earth, I thank Thee with all my Heart for my many blessings. Revive the Church! Help us have our Stakes back and a Temple, so we can be One Body with one Faith and and One Birth and one Lord! Amen! 

07.21
FRIDAY

6/100 256.51 EBT FS

7:44 AM Last night Rick took me to China Buffet after the death of Autumn.
The food was delicious.
Then he took me home, and I slept until 11 PM after taking my pills and Coconut Oil. Then I got up and walked over to Rick's When I got there, Feisty was eating dry food and had drank some water. Then Rick and I fed him formula which at first he really lapped up, then refused, resisting, so Rick put some formula in a saucer and eventually Feisty ate it out of there. Then I was about to go to QT to get a Coke, when a Voice told me to go home and slept until about 7:30 AM when I got up, fed the cat, gave him water and THEN went to the bathroom number one, then wrote in in my journal.

3:28 PM I can demonstrate that you can feel time. I slept from the 7:00 hour til now and when I woke up I felt like it was the 3:00 hour and when I looked at my clock it was 3:30.

They say dogs can smell time.

The day passed without incident.

I called upon the name of the LORD.

07.23
LORD'S DAY

1/100 65.74 EBT FS

From HELLO SUMMER D264XBRENTK V:

"I want to test a hypothesis that gaming and streaming triggers porn use. So for three (now two) days:

*I will not play any computer games.
*I will not stream.
*I will not watch people play games on YouTube or Twitch.
*I will not watch movies or videos.
Control:
*I will keep my Diary.
*I will update my Diary.
*I will keep drinking Coke, other soda.
*I will write stories.
*The only media I will consume will be educational.-history, philosophy, science, Theology and Scripture.
(and math and music.) (and languages)
*No "historical movies".
*If I do not mess up again in these three days I will add a fourth day for a further control.
*This will eliminate worldliness."

1:40 AM I'm petting Gandalf.

I went out with my friends Rick and Cindy to McD's last night and with them and Jo's sister out to Walmarts, where Rick bought me catlitter for 10 bucks and I bought over a hundred dollars worth of groceries.

When I got home I put my groceries away, cleaned out the catbox, put more litter in the box, freshened it took the litter waste and the old catlitter container out to the dumpster, then ate, typed the rest of Journal 264, then started this Journal.

I will be going back to the writings of George Washington, Abraham Lincoln and Isaac Newton later (possibly other days, not necessarily referring to later today.).

1:57 AM My cat is really lapping up his fresh water.
Now he's lying to the right side of the front of my loveseat on the floor, sniffing the floor. 1:59 He just went into my room.


021) Hell: A Prison Diary-Belmarsh, Jeff Archer.

022) porn cartoon - anime.

023) Sherlock Holmes: The Patchwork Devil, Cavan Scott pp.71-92

8:08 AM
024) I finally finished High Republic Comics: Jedi's End, End of Phase One.

I'm having Paul Ludy stop at KC's on the way home from Church so I can buy a Coke today. Wednesday Pastor Pete us showing Jesus Revolution. Today at the RLDS Church there is a potluck.

I told at least two people today that I was a trainwreck.
One of them said ''It's not over''
I said "I hope so".

025) Joseph Prince Sermons.

I asked Paul what it means to not walk on the flesh. He said it was like overeating or undersleeping- the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak-the spirit wants to do something but we are not willing to go along with it-like there's something we know we should not eat but we eat it anyway.

John 10:17-29 My sheep hear my Voice, and I know them.

Nothing, unless we allow it, is able to pluck us out of the Father's hand.

026) Today's God's Plan of Salvation Class begins at p. 72, 'The Jews and Islam'.

Frederick Madison Smith is the uncle of Richard Rupe

The First Crusade was in 1095. The Rosicrusians founded the Priory of Sion in 1099 AD.

First America required VISAs and Passports to Canada.

Next REAL IT'S in America (some in this congregation have them).

Now Europe is making people get VISAs to travel from country to country in Europe.

The Jews wore a six point gold star.

The Biden Administration gave American citizens a Mark of a Gold Five-point star.

People today deny the holocaust, or just how awful it actually was.

We ended on p. 75.

I give to all them that ask of Me but am not found of those that do not seek after Me or inquire after me- Isa 65.

God, make yourself known to me. Amen. It may not be today, nor tomorrow, but I seek a change of heart and a deeper relationship with thee. Amen.

"I was looking for Truth".

"I prayed"

"The Lord didn't keep me waiting too long."

"It would be foolish of me to just logically say he doesn't exist."

"If he didn't answer my prayer, I don't need him."

"If there is a God, and he will make himself known to me, I will give up everything for that."

"The Lord did answer my prayer"

"I heard His voice-"This is my beloved Son-Follow Him"
(Paraphrased)"

It is important that a person be humbled before the Lord.

Someone he knew came back from Vietnam 'a real mess' and the Church blessed him.

He had doubts. 'There are a lot of churches' I'm thinking.

Knelt by coffee table in Living room, began to pray in the Name of Jesus.

'Is this where I'm supposed to serve you? Is this where I'm supposed to be?'

He told me 5 things:

1. The Book of Mormon is True.

2.The Inspired Version is True.

3. The Doctrine and Covenants is True.

4. Joseph Smith was a pleasing prophet of God.

5. This is my Church. You are to remain in it.

In Section 10 of the DC, there's a sweet paragraph:

Behold, I am Jesus Christ the Son of God...as many as will receive me, to them I will give power to become Sons of God....

There's a lot of Hebrew poetry in the Doctrine and Covenants.

He even Creates in some of these poetic forms.

He even Communicates sometimes in this poetry.

Chiasm.

A
B
C
D
D'
C
B
A

I am the same who came to my own and my own received me not.

A I am Jesus Christ
Believe on my name.

B I am the Son of God. I give power to become Sons of God.

C My own received me not.

DC Section 22.

The Glory of God was upon Moses, wherefore Moses could endure his presence.

I am without beginning of days or end of years and is not this endless?

Thou (Moses) art my son.

I will show thee the workmanship of my hands, but not all.

My works are without end and also my words, for they never cease.

DC 85:12E

DC 22

And I have a work for thee.
And thou art in the similitude of mine Only Begotten.
Everything is present with Me.

Moses saw every one of us, and the world and the ends thereof (Paraphrased).

Moses was caught up in the Spirit of the Lord and blessed with a tremendous, tremendous outpouring of God's Spirit.

You can't come into the presence of God, experience the holiness of God without having revealed to you the Love of God.

Moses could behold Satan in the natural man.

Satan had come among men, tempting them to worship him-Genesis, (Paraphrased?).

Satan wants to separate us from each other and God (Paraphrased).

Moses was seeking out the Lord.

Genesis 6:57-58 IV.

Moses claims his right.

'I will not cease to call upon God'-What a Testimony.

Satan moved his tactic from subtlety to fear.

Moses called on God for strength.

Moses received strength.

'Depart hence'.

Satan departed.

Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

We have in Christ this amazing ability to stand our ground.

Do you know how many people on earth have a testimony that the Restoration is true? If you have this Testimony, you are very rare.

Moses shall be made stronger than many waters for they shall obey thy command as if thou wert God.

This was fulfilled.

There is not a soul which God does not behold.

And Moses beheld many lands, each land called earth and there were inhabitants upon the face of them. (Paraphrased)

He's back seeing God face to face (Paraphrased)

By the Word of my Power I have created them, who is full of Grace and Truth.

And worlds without number have I created.

And the first man of All men have I called Adam.

And many worlds have passed away by the Word of my Power.

As one earth shall pass away and the heavens thereof, so shall another one come.

And there is no end to my works or my words for this is my work and my glory, to bring to pass the immortality andeternal life of man.

Men shall esteem my words as nought and take many of them from the book thou shall write...
I will raise up ...(someone) and they shall be had again.

Not deceived by satan, but inspired by God.

Call upon me while I am near.
Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you.

If you ask anything that is not expedient for you it shall turn unto your condemnation.

If your eye be single to my glory, it shall be filled with light.

Therefore sanctify yourselves.

He shall (reveal) His face unto you,..and it shall be in his own time, his own way and according to his own will.

Gordon said to Walk in the Spirit, listen to what the Spirit says and don't go away from it. You're either walking in the spirit or walking in the flesh. We're guilty of walking in the flesh sometimes but can overcome walking in the flesh by walking in the Spirit. The perfect example was Jesus himself. He always walked in the flesh but was always in the Spirit.

I slept 'til 3:16 PM after Church, then went outside, not responding to a phantom knock or any noise this time, sat on my front porch and updated my Diary using my phone, enjoying the hot weather.

I was in spiritual wickedness all my life that started with Maggie, who will never manifest period, and was never going to. This led to my porn use.

Her name is Jamie. Get to know her.

My two "baptisms" were fake. The girl that kissed me on the head was a Nephilim.
There's an explanation for everything. The inscriptions in my journals were not meant for me.

I need to give up my illusions.

I have told Joy these things before. Now Joy has confirmed them.

Joy said I've been playing evil games with God and I'm running out of time, and I cannot worship God and satan at the same time.

Gina said get on the Ark or stay off it.

I must NEVER delete these paragraphs. They are the Truth. Once I change my Core beliefs my behaviour will change. Those were my Core beliefs.

My life revolved around the idea of Maggie.

It is not gaming or streaming that causes my porn use, but my Core beliefs.

My dreams mean nothing.

Once a Child of God always a Child of God.

It is God's will that I stay in THIS Diary until it is finished.

I called Rick. He fed the kitten at 4 AM last night, got to bed at 6 AM, and today Beverly was able to bottlefeed the kitten formula and Feisty drank water yesterday.

I slept for a while. Now I'm wide awake because I had caffeine after 3 PM, but I'll try to go back to bed after I update my Diary.

07-25
TUESDAY

100/100 52.33 EBT FS

I slept all night.

I did not have any caffeine after 3 PM yesterday and I went to bed early last night.

Now I'm ready to go open my own bank account at 9 AM.

The good news: *I got next month's rent paid.

*I got 100.00 allowance
*Joy taught me how to write checks and deposit slips.
*The bank's back office got copies of the letters Joy and I needed to bring.

The bad news:

*I need a valid photo ID in order to open a bank account.
*I need my birth certificate, Social Security card and proof of address, to go down to the Blue Springs Licensing Office and get a reissue of my lost ID, and I only have a week to do it.



Also:
*I have to go to Joy's house to get my birth certificate.

2:01 PM Tomorrow at 2:45 PM Teddy will take me to the Blue Springs Licensing Office to get my State ID reissued.

Tracy and I had a phone appointment. I updated her on my progress and we talked about the possibility of Jesus being married to Mary Magdalen and Mary Magdalen having been The woman at the well. I asked her if the woman at the well was during the first year of His public ministry and she said might have been the first or the second. I told her it would have been strange if a young Jewish man was NOT married and everyone thought he was an ordinary Jewish man. She said 30 was not the ordinary age of male marriage but 18 thought to be the ideal age for a young Jewish man to be married or younger.

I told her The Catholic Church (Latin Rite) says that there is no real Theological Problem with Jesus having been married, but only Protestants have a problem with it.
I told her the legend of Sarah Jesus' supposed offspring marrying into the line of Merovingian Kings after fleeing with her mother into Egypt.

"Sounds like you've been reading The DaVinci Code" she said.
"Actually I've never read it" I said. "I've been reading books about it and other books on the same subject. The Holy Grail and Jesus' supposed marriage to Mary Magdalen."

I told her the Gospel of Mary and the Gospel of Thomas were not "Gnostic" in my opinion and the Gospel of Mary may support the theory that there may have been more to Jesus and Mary Magdalen's relationship than that Mary Magdalen was just another woman who followed Jesus.

Mary Magdalen was the first person Jesus appeared to after His Ressurection but we agreed that that wasn't concrete proof.

So much of Jesus' life is unchronicled. What did Jesus do all those silent years. There is a Legend that as a Child he went to Brittony. But from ages 8-11, 11-30, there is no record I have access to as to what he did or where he was.

The Syncretists teach that he went to the East and taught heretical doctrines, but that's heresy.

Buddha and Confucius were heretics according to Bob Giertz, who studied back that far.

There is just so much I don't know. So much I want to know.

They say books contain all the world's knowledge but I refute that. Some knowledge is too sacred to be written down.

The Internet can tell you many things, but it can't tell you more than it can tell you.

The Google Earth can reveal mysteries (a blood red waterfall for example) but it can't explain them sometimes.

And there is a LOT of false information out there.

2:42 PM I should update my journal now.

I got to the words "supposed marriage to Mary Magdalen" in updating my journal, then it was 3:00 PM CDT and Star Wars Santa and I troubleshooted my OBS Streamlabs audio problem. For some reason, we found out my last stream got taken down, so I started a new one.

My stream shouldn't be any more than 5 hours long. I can start another 5-hour stream after my first one, and then another one after that.

I can stream Star Wars, etc. content in my Everything Star Wars discord server and link to it in Santa's Covert, once I get Disney + again.

3:45 PM Playing RAID, I'll update my journal now.

067) Uses of Knowledge, Martin. Confusing. I couldn't tell if he was an atheist or a Theist or if he was trying to reason beyond thoughts God approves of.

068) Reunions, Moody Press

069) RAID and this stream

070) and 071) and 072) Atlas Earth

5:12 PM I went to the bookstore and bought 5 books.

I'll be starting a New Diary Thread today on DiaryLogSite2 today, but not my Diary.

I am not to get Disney+ this month, but am to wait until next month.

I am to go to the RLDS Church Wednesday and Pastor Pete's church on Sunday.

I put 24.00 on my VISA NetSpend Card.

073) Jeremiah 10, Inspired Version.

074) Psalm 91:14-16 (NIV)

14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. 15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. 16 With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."

075) RAID and another stream
076) I reviewed more Diaries and wrote a Diary.

077) Charlton Heston's Diaries.

Why can't you keep a diary like this--short meaningful blurbs instead of long meaningless entries?

Today's entry, for starts:

2023 AD
Wednesday, July 25 Oak Grove, Missouri.

Today I went to the bank to try to open up my own bank account but wasn't able to. I need to get photo ID reissued tomorrow. Teddy will take me to the Blue Springs Licensing Office to get it done. I made a stream today that stayed on YouTube. Bye.

P.S. God will satisfy me with long life and be with me in times of trouble and show me His salvation.

 

Thursday, July 27 Downtown Oak Grove, Missouri-
Read It Again Bookstore

1:38 PM CDT At new job. Organized many piles and boxes of books. On 15-minute break. Back to work at 1:45 PM. Off work at 3 PM. Joy closed her Payee bank account this morning. This job is a lot of fun....3:03 PM Work over. Made $60.00 in store credit. Have 47.50 left. Got Ewan McGregor's Biography by James Hatfield, Sister M. Faustina's Diary, and Diaries of Women....3:36 PM Oak Grove, Missouri-My apartment The wait time for the DMV would have been about 3 hours, taking us well past closing time, so we can't go today. I got a new Jedi Master, Taylor Neir, on Guardians of the Light on theforce.net.

P.S. I got the books Lost Symbol, Digital Fortress, The DaVinci Code, Origin, and Angels And Demons, all by Dan Brown, and Symbols of the Church and Cracking The DaVinci Code by Simon Cox.

P.P.S. 5:59 PM Oak Grove, Missouri-First Baptist Church. Bob Johnston prayed for me to get over my addiction last night in the parking lot of Wendy's. It was a powerful prayer. I reconnected with an old friend today-Aly. She's sitting in front of me at the church....7:06 PM I watched the the couple at Ricks' kids sing with their Vacation Bible School group.
It was a good, God-glorifying performance.

P.P.P.S. Oak Grove, Missouri- McDonald's parking lot After I talked to Aly and found out what her interests are, Cindy, Rick and I went out to McDonald's, then they dropped me off at my apartment and went to the post office, then Rick dropped Cindy off at her apartment and went home to look for his cat Bootsy if she's alive, because she hasn't eaten much in two weeks, and neither has Scooter. The kitten Feisty is doing fine.

P.P.P.P.S. I want to do my Thesis and my I-Search Paper about The Grail, Mary Magdalen, The Merovingian Kings of France and their descendants and the Truth in the DaVinci Code and in Holy Blood, Holy Grail and related books and documentaries.

P.P.P.P.P.S. "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts.- Shakespeare, As You Like It, Act 2, Scene 7.