12.30-
THURSDAY

(PAGE 361)

I'll watch 'The Empire Strikes Back' now as I type more of Star Wars Episode XVII: Edge of Victory.

....5:00 PM I'm here early at Pastor Pete's church.  I walked counter-clockwise around the block to get here.  I taught Jo's sister a little bit about piano keys, sharps, flats and chords, and encouraged her to have someone teach her how to play the piano.

The Empire Strikes Back is paused at home on the scene just before Han and Leia go to Cloud City on Bespin.

I told Troy and Paul Jo's brother about Colt's situation in Kansas City.

6:03 PM Pastor Pete taught me a little about how to properly use a sound board as part of my music education.

He said that I'm his record on dealing with someone who has a porn problem; at least that has told him about it.

I told him that if I'm good on the ChromeBook for 3 days, that I can have my phone and laptop back.  I do need them back, before, or at least need to use them when I have to report my paychecks to Joy on Friday.

I told Pastor Pete that according to John 13 Jesus shared communion with those who were close to him and you had to be his True Disciple to partake.

"What are we, heathens, then?" Pastor Pete asked.

"Your part of the Body. Your communion is for you.  My communion is for me." I replied.
Pastor Pete said if anyone puts any Doctrine or Covenant ahead of the Bible, they were wrong, and that their Communion was for all who come.

We ended the conversation there.  We didn't argue. We just talked.


(PAGE 363)

I sent Troy a link to my Mara/Luke4Ever Website.

He tried looking at Star Wars Episode 12 but it told him that he had to be logged in or to register in order to view it.  That puzzles me to no end.  Is that the reason no one signs up or posts, because they can't see anything I write?

  When I go home I had better make sure that on my Admin panel I have 'Everyone' selected on who can both view and access my Movies and Shows board.

  The difference between a seder meal and Communion is Communion is an abbreviation and a seder is a full meal (also seder is open to all Christendom and Jewry while Communion in the restoration is only for Restorationists - BLSKV) - Pastor Pete to Rick.


His sermon today is on the Feast Days of the Lord- God's Calendar.

He says most churches don't think about God's calendar-
God's calendar.

We miss out so much when we don't keep up with what God has done- Pete.

God wants us to study these things- Pete.

Leviticus 23 (Message was to Israel....)
: holy convocations...My feasts..Shabbat...holy rest...holy convocations which you shall proclaim at their appointed time.

In Jewish homes, and in the homes of Messianics-some Christians, these feasts will be observed.  Some will know the True Meaning of it.  Some won't.

They celebrate the meal and tell the story.

(All their lives) they hear the story over and over and over again every year at the same time...year after year after year after year they would remember these particular days.

..

These days here.. he called it a holy convocation a rehearsal.. every year they were rehearsed.

Around AD 33 something they had been rehearsing came to pass.  The death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ.  You move later 50 days from that the Holy (Ghost) came (in power)

They (these) are shadows. Shadows of things to come -Paul.

Friday night they will thank Jesus for dying on the Cross for them, think about Him, Celebrate Him (and take their Communion).
(Think about) going seven days without Leaven.

Are you going to be a second-rate Christian if you don't do that? No. But will you miss out on a Blessing? Yes.

If you don't remember Jesus on Passover night, does that mean you're not a Christian (believer)? No. By being conscious of these feasts- by being mindful of them.

..When we think about what Jesus has done for us...

God is so cool to put this in the Bible, to tell the same story over and over again, providing us with opportunities to pass on the Faith (for) they tell the story of Salvation.

.....If you and I were at our table, like Moses, with his family, like Jesus with His family, telling that wonderful story, how that bread (and that wine) (and that Lamb) was for our cleansing and sanctification.

  We think about the Feast of Atonement and the coming Judgment and then the Feast of Tabernacles when Jesus is coming to establish His Kingdom.

...This is a time when he drew families together, and he also drew families to Jerusalem.

Getting together with Believers is a (wonderful thing).

Pity the lonely.

The cool thing about these Feasts is that they are Prophetic in nature and not all of these have been fulfilled.

In Leviticus, in that one Book, in the outline of all history, right there in that one chapter, (those Prophetic Feasts).

Do you not realize.. that During the Millennium, Jesus the King will be observing the Feast of Tabernacles?

We can't say that the Law is done away with, for it's not all fulfilled.  (The handwriting of ordinances which were against us- the law of ordinances- no longer applies, is nailed to the Cross- I disagree with Pastor Pete, said the Moral Law will never be done away- the Hebraism meaning of the word "until" meaning 'perpetually')

....Think about what (we can learn from (studying the Feast Days).

(Fasts can make you conscious of being on them for we have broken our routine) and make you more conscious of, of what God has done for us.  If a leaven (fast) can help us be mindful of God, (it can't hurt)

Nisan is Abib

Nisan is Babylonian.

Abib is Hebrew.

BIBLICAL HOLIDAYS:

SPRING HOLIDAYS

(FULFILLED)

PASSOVER: JESUS' DEATH.

UNLEAVENED BREAD: BURIAL

FIRST FRUITS: RESURRECTION

-50 DAYS-

(THEN)

PENTECOST - HOLY (GHOST) (CAME IN POWER TO THE CHURCH)


FALL HOLIDAYS:

(UNFULFILLED)

TRUMPETS: (SECOND COMING)

DAY OF ATONEMENT:

(JUDGMENT) (BEMA)

TABERNACLES: (COMING KINGDOM)


THE JEWS ALSO CELEBRATE SABBATH, NEW MOONS, THE TWO DAYS OF PURIM AND THE FEAST OF DEDICATION, OR CHANNUKAH.

04-16--
SABBATH-SATURDAY


12:50 AM "That's an awful lie! It must be true."-Return of Revan Episode II.

Sometimes, it can be a delusion.

I missed work yesterday.  I shant today.

7:54 AM I messed up last night.  A big heavy devil sat on my chest over my blanket and tried grabbing my feet early this morning and promised to haunt my dreams and I dreampt about a demon pursuing me in my room and in my bathroom.

The other night I dreampt that Apostle and Brother Joseph Smith, Jr. assured me that I'd get over my porn problem.

I work Friday and Saturday from 9-11 AM next week.

8:20 AM CDT

   I miss Maggie.  I would move heaven and earth to bring her closer to me from wherever she is.  I believe she lives in a house in Bates City, but as the song goes, she's so close, yet so far away.  I love her so much. Maybe if I give up my porn addiction she will suddenly come back into my life.

One can only hope.
  I don't see any end to my addiction unless Pastor Pete chooses to buy Covenant Eyes for me.

I should only have eyes for Maggie.

I love Maggie.

I can't explain why.

8:29 AM  Mom and I used to play Monopoly Junior together.  Grandma Marge and I used to play Star Wars Monopoly and Simpsons Monopoly.

Randy asked me how I'm doing.  I didn't answer at first.  Then I sighed and said, "ok".

Ok, just ok, without my friend Colt; with my friend Colt fending for himself on the streets of Kansas City.

Just ok with still no one posting on my website, even when they promise to.

Just ok with friends abandoning me, saying they'll spend time with me then forgetting about me altogether.

And no Maggie is sight.

Yeah, I'm just ok.

I'm thankful I have a job, an apartment, food and clothes, but there's just no joy.  Just no joy.  I feel terrible.

I feel like I'm showing hatred for God by refusing to give up my porn addiction, but I could never hate Him, because He's a Good God, and He's done so much for me.  But I grieve the Spirit and slap God in His face and spit in it, every time I look at porn and self-pleasure, and I worship satan, and myself and my parts.  Where is the love of God in that?  I drag the name of Jesus in the dirt and I glorify and bring great pleasure to satan.  It's so awful!

My life is a shambles.

I make next to no money at my job.  I practically live off of the government.

Heaven would be so much better than this miserable existence.  I don't wish this kind of misery that is my life on my worst enemy.  I don't want any one else to be as miserable as I am.

11:40 AM Work was fun. Although I had adverse circumstances (described this morning before work.) I had a song in my heart.  Although I really didn't want to be joyful, I was.

  After venting my frustrations to my friend Dayton after work, telling him my plans, he decided to give me a ride up to the library to take back my Chromebook and check out 'On The Edge of The Divine' by Sandi Patty.  Then he dropped me off back home, and went back to work.  He was on his half hour meal break.

  Later I need to go to Rick's house to use his phone to call Pastor Pete so he can give me my laptop and phone back so I can report my wages to Joy.

  Actually, I don't think I have to 'till closer to the end of the month, two weeks from today.  I will just have to live without electronics for the time being.  Let that be a lesson to me.  I'll have more time for God this way.


   How do you keep an elephant from charging? Take away his credit card.  How do you keep a Brent from looking at porn? Take away his electronics.


12:22 PM CDT  I called Pastor Pete on a neighbor's phone and told him I had taken back my Chromebook to the library to the library and now had no electronics but in about two weeks I needed my laptop and phone again to report my wages to Joy my current Payee, then I'd give my laptop and phone back to Pete if he couldn't trust me with them, or I thought I couldn't trust myself with them yet.

Pastor Pete has both my phone and its charger.

1:29 PM Heading back to the library.

2:29 PM @library. I walked here. I got situated on the computer by opening up Revan Episode II and my 40'th Diary to type it, and my 40'th Diary also to write in it (hardcopy.).

3:06 PM The Return of Revan Episode II is over.  Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi is beginning (The Insert Coin Fanedit).

3: 12 PM I had to switch computers.  I was sitting next to a young woman named 'Land', or 'Earth', or was it 'Crown'? I'm not sure if she was in her early 20's or a Teenager.


7:06 PM @home. Along the way home from the library I had two distinct fantasies about Maggie, one brief, one much longer.

   I bought a beef stick at Casey's for 2.10, and am about to eat a potato with Mayonnaise on it, to go with it.  All acidic, so I will eat a lot of alkaline pistachios to temper it.  I also have WalNuts,. but may eat some of those later.

  I liked The Return of Revan Episode I better than the Return of Revan Episode II: Not only was there more action, the plot was a lot easier to follow.  The things I like more about Episode II than Episode I is Archon's redemption and a power-hungry female Droid (like the Droid leader of the Exchange before (or after?) her) and the fact that unlike Episode II, Episode I ended with a ton of anticlimactic scenes that could have been simplified way more.

    I enjoyed watching The Last Jedi and typing Diary 40- Part I today.  I also watched Truther videos on B i t c hute.  Now I will enjoy my hot potato with Mayonnaise after I account for my 2.10 beef stick in my accounting book.

     On Second thought, I'll eat Pistachio's some other time and have a big alkaline can of green beans instead, after my potato.

7:31 PM CDT I'm having a can of mixed fruit after I had the green beans, which is heavy alkaline.


10:43 PM @ Rick's, on his front porch, waiting for him to come home.
                                     I messed up at home, writing a dirty story and drawing a dirty picture and getting off on it.  There is no excuse for such lewd behavior! None!

I came here to visit with Rick but he is not here yet.  I surmise that he is probably at his friend Paul's and Jo's' sister's:

The day had been perfect had I not messed it up at the end of it with my lewdness, O Father! Although I made things right between us, 'twould be better had I not done what I did!

It's too late to call Pastor Pete tonight.

I'm supposed to be spending my time reading and communing with God!

Having no electronics has not helped mestop looking at porn, it just made me evil enough to create my own.

I need a porn detox.

Under a delusion, I was afraid, I sang some verses of Broken Hallelulia, Redeemer of Israel and Rise Up O Saints of God, prayed that they would spare my life (I thought wrongly we were being invaded by enemy Sino-Russian soldiers) and gave myself a eulogy and epitaph.

'I did my best, but it wasn't much, be that as it may' was The bottom line.  But I walked away, singing Broken Hallelulia, then more than halfway down Rick's street, I ran! - all the way home,. and locked my doors, sheltering in place. I had thought I sensed that things were nearing the end and falsely sensed that something big was about to happen, having fantasized about this and now demons were making it manifest through my fear and paranoia.

The truth:


There is a global currency reset going on rn as they are trying to use bitcoin and blockchain to break the global bank and 'go green' eliminating the 'carbon footprint' by abolishing cash. This is in the process of happening rn as we speak with Trump trying to establish the New American Republic.  Meanwhile Q (The Beast's image, Tyler) continues to spread misinformation about the powers that be being summarily executed and replaced by Clones and Deep Fakes (among these so-called executions have been the Antichrist Obama, who can only be destroyed by Jesus Christ and the Queen of England, Elizabeth II (who by the time of my typing this is dead anyway.) .). Trump continues to Trust (or appear to trust? ? ?) Qanon.

11:51 PM Making Macaroni & cheese- style noodles and mayonnaise for supper. I'm hungry.
       
      I need to start reading my books.  Not just talk about doing it.

04/18--
MONDAY

4:44 AM Funny how I neither spent last night at Rick's nor reading, but just went to bed.

   Most of last night was devoted to spiritual warfare, some of it physical.

    I think I will go with last night's reading plan this morning (but I did not).

A History of the Christian Church, Williston Walker, ix, Reviser's Preface, Period One, Chapter 1, pp. 3-4, 4, paragraph 1.

I can't find three of my books, but they'll turn up later.

I finally found my flash drive: It was in the back pocket of my backpack.

2:25 PM At library.  I found my Music History book and all my Aristotle.  I'm at the Library.  A man gave me two Baby Ruth Bars, with no Senomyx or Yeast in them, and my hunger was satisfied.  I typed from Diary 40, PART I, The Reagan Diaries, and 570 AD.  The first thing I did on the Internet today was go on discord.

  My time on the Internet was now kindly extended to 72 minutes!

3:11:35 PM CDT I just read the Book Phonics Pack 2 Book 10 01/0Y "Droids", from Scholastic Books by Quinlan B. Lee

  I watched Part One of my Humorous Versions Box Set Series, testing it, and I realized that I made an unnecessary video accidentally when I redid it earlier, thinking erroneously that it needed to be redone.

(PAGE 413.)

3:36 PM I just finished the book In Jabba's Chains by Quinlan B. Lee from Scolastic Books, Phonics Pack 2, Book 3 CH-(beginning sound).

I've been playing Hero Wars.

4:03 PM They kindly extended my time to 69 minutes!

4:26 PM I finished the book 'Shoot The Death Star' by Quinlan B. Lee. (Phonics Pack 2 Book 1 (SH- beginning sound)

  I need to call Joy and ask her if there's anything she needs, and call Pastor Pete and ask him for my phone so that I can stay in touch with Haley and reschedule our missed appointment, call Haley to reschedule and call Larry Green to see if I can get RLDS Church History Vols. 5-8 back. Leaving library now. I got to Level 47 in the Dungeon in Hero Wars.

@ home going out to Rick's.  Third time . . . . 

04/20--
WEDNESDAY

   The day before yesterday, my next door neighbor, the female young woman who moved in not long ago, suddenly moved out.

   5:13 PM I have 19.00---------------------------------------------------------
I went to Joy's, Dollar General, the local Library, the local Bookstore, and home.  I bought my 41'st Diary, a Sketch Diary.


When I go in my house after Church, I need to figure today's expenses in my Budget Book, ask Steve to charge my phone again, and read Scriptures. If there's time, I can type some of my 40'th Diary Part I using my phone.

   6:31 PM  I have my laptop back.  

I made a legalistic "plan of action" which didn't really pan out or help anything. 

Going to Church.

9:53 PM I have $8.00. I am streaming.  I went to Casey's, home, Rick's, then home.

  I've been playing a lot of Hero Wars today.

04/22--
FRIDAY

  I wait patiently for a letter from Maggie.

  Before work I watch part of The Return of Revan Episode III: Master of the the Throne.  I pause the film. I go to work.  God is good.

.....Watching Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith; 


I watched The Chosen Season 2 finale about the Sermon on the Mount earlier, and I read Chapter 5 and the first part of Matthew Chapter 6 in the Inspired Version of the Bible, then listened to the song 'Let the Devil Know Not Today', on Life 88.5, then turned the radio off.


  God revealed to me in Meditation that a lot of MMORPG's, especially the ones based upon Dungeons & Dragons, are mind-cloning, mind erasers that leave you as a vegetable after playing them for years, so I deleted them from my phone and laptop.  He told me Star Wars: The Old Republic was good.


I notice I have developed trust issues because of my experiences with abusive men; namely, Maek Sohlden, Steve Bock and Eddie Amor, and have misgivings about whether I should trust Ernest Jones. 

   Am I inviting abuse by trusting him?  Or am I silly to worry? He never seemed to me at work like a man who is abusive.  He works an honest living, Master Mechanic, wife, Gospel Blue Grass Band, and seems good-natured and responsible.

      I am reminded how that Anakin implicitly trusting Palpatine was Anakin's downfall.  Palpatine never showed Anakin his true colors until Anakin was completely at his mercy.


             I really need to prove this man, to know if he is a trustworthy person.

                 Colt and Rick have never betrayed my confidence or my trust. Neither has Shane, but Shane was so pliable at first. The onus was on me not to betray Shane's trust or confidence in that situation, not the other way around.  Now Shane I feel is on the correct path again.

..If I can show God and Pastor Pete and Joy that I can 'sing the night into the morning' and 'tell the devil not today' every single night, a hundred times a night if I have to, then I can win and God will get the Glory!

Praise God!  Cold showers wouldn't hurt, either, if I can force myself to put my devices away for the night and take them instead of giving into the flesh.

    I eat less now.

*One thing at a time.

My dishes still aren't done, but I did a lot of them yesterday, and I cleaned up my house to a great degree yesterday also.

The 'so love has blinded you' scene is on.

I'm pausing the movie here and I'm going to watch more of The Return of Revan Episode III.

  There are two empresses- Vaylin, daughter of Valkorian, the former Emperor before Archonn, and sister of Archonn, and the Empress of The Sith Empire, Alina.  Both Revan and Valkorian have both dark and light in them, doing good and bad things, thinking right and wrong thoughts and saying good and bad things.  Vaylin is clearly evil.  Archonn is conflicted, and I believe there will be a redemption arc for him.


   I ran into Mark Griffin at the store.  I was complaining about the high price of a Baby Ruth bar to a woman when a man said 'give me that candy-bar; I'll pay for it for you' and then I noticed that it was Mark Griffin from the Oak Grove RLDS Church.  He gave me a ride home.

     I started watching Revenge of the Sith today but the new Windows OS 10 has the pesky habit of opening every single browser window right on top of the ones you are using and I lost my place in the film.